It Takes A Village To Survive
Y’all, I’ve been MIA and it’s because it was the worst month. February was rough but full of lessons. This isn’t meant to be a pity party but a bit of honesty and vulnerability. As a blogger, people expect a lot of perfect photos that come from perfect family moments. Everyone sort of expects I have my life together, but I don’t. Not entirely anyway. I try but it seriously takes a village to have your life together.
You see we came home from our Valentine’s Day dinner and not only had my husband gotten food poisoning from dinner but my 6-year-old was running a fever. He looked like he had seen a ghost and was just weak. After a round of medicine, I was hoping he’d wake up good as new. I was hoping it was a cold. I didn’t really have time for anything else.
Not only was his fever high but so was his brother’s temperature. Thus began the two weeks of their flu. Yes, the flu took over my house entirely.
Remember my hubs with the food poisoning? Also, got the flu. Thankfully, he traveled for a week for work so he kept his flu germs out of my house.
Then I went down with the flu. We spent the week down and out sleeping 20 hours a day. It hurt to breathe. I will 10/10 recommend you don’t get the flu. *Note* I am not advocating for flu shots. We personally don’t do them and this is the first time we’ve had the flu and I’m almost 30.
As my family got better, I got worse. Way worse.
While their cough and fevers subsided, mine increased. Drastically. I started to cough up blood. Less than ideal.
A week and a half after Valentine’s Day, I was too sick to get my children up and ready for school. Glenn was out of town for work so I was riding solo. No village for me. I was in the worst shape I had been in through this whole sickness and didn’t know what to do.
I was alone with two pretty healthy kids, two dogs (our third died during this flu epidemic) and I couldn’t move. I was stuck.
Glenn and I have no family around and we just moved to this part of Georgia a few months ago. I really didn’t know what to do as a solo parent for the day. He was going to be gone until the following evening at best.
This is how I know God’s plan is perfect
“Ashley, I’m confused. You just said your life was in shambles so how is God’s plan perfect?”
I am so glad you asked!
God put us in this perfect small town with a perfect church family.
My Children’s Ministry Director text me Monday in the midst of the chaos and panic to see if I was okay since I hadn’t been to church in two weeks. Not like me at all.
I did something I never do and asked if she knew of anyone who was home during the day and could help me. I am so bad about asking for help but in that moment I really had to humble myself and admit I couldn’t do it alone.
I am so bad about this but let me tell you, God provides. When we humble ourselves and admit we aren’t super human, God shows up big. He really flexes His muscle in those moments and I am thankful He does.
God provided me with saints. Angels among people. Within minutes of my ask, my Director text me back saying a retired couple from church would be more than willing to take my kids UNTIL THE FOLLOWING DAY. This couple I had spoken to once, offered to take my children for a whole 24 hours until Glenn got home from his work trip.
I cried. I’ll be so honest, I cried. In real time, I saw a prayer answered in a way I couldn’t fathom.
I called this amazing couple and within 30 minutes I had them over at their house and was on my way to the Emergency Room. The hospital was incredibly fast and even offered me a two hour nap so I could rest up in peace. My kids were well taken care of. And more importantly, we made family friends for life.
This couple even stopped to thank me for allowing them the chance to not only serve but to spend time with children since they’re both retired teachers. I mean what a blessing.
The thing is we can’t do it alone
I think society puts a lot of pressure on us as moms to be super woman. We need to be working out, providing the ultimate experiences for our children, be up to date on the latest in pediatric research, provide the most healthy meals, be great lovers and wives, keep an immaculate house, volunteer, be a great friend and maybe offer something to the world besides our family and ourselves. I don’t know a single mom who isn’t overwhelmed.
We have so much pressure and some of it is self-induced to be perfect but no one is perfect except Jesus. Even Jesus needed the Father.
We too need to ask for help.
We too need to stop and ask for help when we’re stressed and overwhelmed. When we admit we can’t do it all, God shows up and puts people and things in your path. I promise you, He hears you. He knows your struggles. He knows you can’t do it alone so stop doing it.
Before we became this ultra-modern society, we operated in communities. Family lived near each other. Neighbors all took part in raising children.
I think Satan wants us to isolate ourselves. I think he wants us to feel overwhelmed by everything. When we’re operating from a space of overwhelm, we can’t fulfill our God-given roles. Someone suffers when we’re constantly stressed.
What happens now?
We don’t do it alone. That’s what we do. We take a moment to check in with our friends and our spouse to tell someone what’s going on. We get plugged into an incredible community. We don’t fear vulnerability. We accept our own limitations and be not afraid to confide in others. Don’t be afraid to say you’re burnt out.
The more we can talk about our limits, the better we all do. All things are possible through Jesus so let Him help you.
So tell me, how can I support you? How can I pray for you?
It really does take a village, so let the village help!
Be not afraid to lean on your village for help. Be sure to get a great support system in place. Make it a top priority for you. Your sanity and family will thank you for it.